Pit of Doom

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     I named this trap the pit of doom.  The name should tell you that I needed a pit for this one.  I have a really big backyard, so it wasn’t too hard to find a good place to dig a hole.  Digging a hole was a lot of work.  I kept it interesting by counting all the worms I came across.  I put a couple of them in a container for later.

Eventually the pit was so deep that it was difficult to climb out of.  As soon as I climbed out of the hole, I saw my little brother Wendell approaching.  He asked, “What’cha doin’?” 

I said: “I’m digging a hole to China, so you’d better stay away
        or I’ll push you in and you’ll end up in China,
        and the Chinamen will get mad at you for trespassing,
        so they’ll do Chinese water torture on you.
        They’ll drip water on your forehead hour after hour,
        day after day, until the water bores a hole in your head.
Then they’ll put a straw in the hole and try to suck out    
your brains, but they won’t find any brains!”

“Quit being mean, Devin!  I just came to tell you that Mom is making us lunch.”

When I got to the house, my mom had just finished making ham and cheese sandwiches.  I said, “Thanks Mom, I’ll take Wendell’s sandwich to him.”  It was the perfect opportunity to open up my can of worms.

When I gave Wendell his sandwich, I watched him carefully as he ate.  He took a bite.  Then another.  I was wondering if he had noticed anything strange about his sandwich.  Wendell looked over at me and noticed that I was staring at him.

Wendell looked down at his ham sandwich.  He noticed a half-eaten worm wriggling from where he had just taken a bite.  His face turned a greenish color like the face of that ugly cartoon ogre, Shlep.  He knew right away that I had put the worm in his sandwich due to the fact that I was rolling on the ground laughing.

As soon as I heard him yell, I ran out the backdoor as fast as I could.  When I got to where my pit was, I jumped in and hid.  I sat quietly for a few minutes until I knew it was safe to come out. 

I took some sticks from a nearby tree branch and sharpened the ends with my pocket knife.  I stuck the spikes in the bottom of my pit pointing straight up.  I put some longer sticks over the top of the hole and covered them with leaves, grass, and a few smaller sticks.  My booby trap was set.  Time to find Wendell…

I ran up to the house and saw Wendell inside playing with his army guys.  I pounded on the window and made a face at him, then ran toward the pit and hid behind a bush.  Wendell came outside and yelled, “You’re in big trouble, Devin!”

I yelled back, “What, worm breath?  I can’t hear you!”

 “Where are you?” he shouted.

“Woo!  Hoo!”  I exclaimed.  It worked!  I ran over to the pit to check out the damage.

I looked down at my pitiful little brother and taunted him, “Gotcha, ya little worm-eater!  What’cha gonna do now?  Huh?” 

He looked up at me stunned.  He stood up speechless for a moment, then finally said, “That kinda hurt.  Now help me get out.  Mom’s gonna kill you when I tell her what you’ve done to me!”

“That’s why I’m not going to help you out. 
I’m going to leave you in here,
and nobody will find you.
Days will go by,
and you’ll be cold and lonely.
You’ll starve to death,
and vultures will come and peck out your eyes…”

“Stop it, Devin!” he interrupted. 

“Okay.  Here’s the deal,” I said.  “I’ll let you out of the pit if you promise to tell Mom we’ve made up, and tell her not to punish me for putting a worm in your sandwich.  If you do that, I’ll let you in on my next booby trap.” 

“Really?” he said.  “You’ll let me in on your next trap?” 

“Sure,” I replied, “but you have to convince mom to let me off the hook about the worm incident.  And don’t tell her about the pit.” 

We spit shook as I reached down and helped Wendell climb out of the pit.


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